twitaholic

wednesday night i went to Ben's graduation party and saw some old friends that i haven't seen in probably two years or so. it was nice to catch up! well, in person. one of them is someone i follow on twitter, Anna. she follows me as well. @annalog81807 if you're interested. she and her husband Mike were talking about how i tweet a lot. i know i do. i can't really place a finger on why, other than maybe the same reason i blog. but shorter and more convenient. i don't really know exactly why i blog though either ... self exploration/improvement/investigation? pure, unadulterated narcissism? ... Mike was talking about how she gets a text and she's excited and then it's like, "oh, it's just Lindsay on twitter." but she swore up and down it's okay because she finds it interesting. (i choose to believe that because, realistically, if it annoyed her as much as i fear it might, she could easily stop receiving my updates on her phone ... )

then last night, Ben and i had milkshakes with some people at shari's and we were talking again about how much i tweet. Ben only follows a very small handful of people on twitter. i think it's up to six now. so he showed me his twitterific app on his iPhone and how it is FILLED with my face. just me, over and over and over and OVER again. occasionally someone else. then more me. for some reason it was totally embarrassing! like, i need to just shut up already!

so i promised to reign it in for at least a weekend. if nothing else, perhaps it will break my habit of seemingly immediately reaching for my phone to put everything that i think is even remotely entertaining on twitter. (i should point out, Ben also insisted, although slightly less convincingly, that it wasn't like he thought i should stop. just that it's a lot.)

i have to say, it's been a little hard so far. it's not bad at work, i've been terribly busy anyway. but even just last night, every funny quote ... it was like it needed to be shared!

in thinking about it, i decided: so i tweet a lot. and? if someone really doesn't like it, it's pretty simple to unfollow. go for it. (and then i will be really sad because i'll totally take it personally. it's what i do. i can't help it.) but i'll keep tweeting. because SOME people find it funny. SOME people find it entertaining, or even interesting at times. even if SOME ... is me.

this is me. take it or leave it. if you want ...

(i'm working on not being a people pleaser. and guilt. omg, guilt will have to be a whole separate post. so much guilt.)

hoppy easter

lol, okay sorry. i had to be cheesy for a minute!

(who am i kidding? i love cheesy. chessy is my middle name.)

i just wanted to wish everyone a happy easter. i hope you get to enjoy the holiday with people you love.

i hope you get to enjoy every sunday with people you love.

goodnight all!

not a child

i am truly not a child. as much as people assume i'm 18 or 19, i really am not. in fact, on my birthday on saturday i will be 24. now i realize that a lot of people would scoff at that and tell me i'm still a baby and on and on and on. and that's fine. i like being young. i realize i'm not but i'm starting to feel old. sometimes i miss being a child. i miss not having to think about major life issues, no bills, no rent. not having to work. being able to just be and no one had a problem with it. i still like it when my dad gives me big, long hugs that make me feel like a kid that he can protect from anything. i like it when he helps me change my oil or figure out what's wrong with my car or when he swoops to my rescue when i'm desperate and everyone i thought i could count on bails on me. i like it when my gramma and grampa hug me tightly and my grampa calls me "sis." and even though he's getting older, he'll insist on lifting something heavy for me. i like it when my gramma fusses over me, making sure i'm not hungry, that i don't need anything. i even like it when the good ol' boy type guys i work(ed) with call me kiddo or my dear or darlin' or whatever.

h o w e v e r. i do NOT like to be treated like a child by someone who is my peer. someone who is in ABSOLUTELY no way, shape or form in charge of me. i do not like being talked down to in such a transparent way that it's hard for my reaction to be anything other than a blank stare. i mean, looking out for someone is one thing, but speaking to a person who is not your subordinate as if you were their first grade teacher is absolutely disrespectful and insulting. thinly veiled contempt and an obvious superiority complex are not something i can easily tolerate.

i don't know. maybe it's really poorly expressed insecurity. i doubt it.

if i were someone who enjoyed drama and being in the middle of it i would say this and more to someones' face.

unfortunately, i am not. i am someone who will blog about this anonymously in hopes that it will be a cathartic experience and i will feel better. better enough not to punch anyone.

people i want to punch in the face

do you have anyone in your life that you just want to be unnecessarily violent to? somebody who's name popping up on your caller ID prompts you to have visions of just punching them square in the nose*? even if they're not doing anything particularly nerve-grating ... just the sight of their name makes your fists clench and your eyes roll?

no? just me? okay.

there are whole groups of people though that i fully want to junk punch. or crack them in the skull hard enough to maybe fracture through the density in hopes that a little bit of common sense might accidentally slip in. such as:

• deadbeat dads --> the people that fall into this category include, but are not limited to, men who divorce their pregnant wives; sperm donors who have to be wrung out like a moist cloth to get a drop of financial support but become possessive and controlling of "their little girl" when the mom trys to move on with her life; anyone who's first reaction to hearing a former partner is pregnant is "it's not my kid"; and the like.
• closed-minded, know-it-all bigots, on either side of the political spectrum (i just don't understand how anyone can think that their opinion is the way, the truth and the only option, no matter what opinion they have.)

i dunno, i guess that's it for now.**

* please be aware, in my vision of punching someone square in the nose ... it's a lot more like a cartoon punch in the nose ... not at all graphic or gross. because i would feel WAY too badly to really hurt someone like that for no good reason. the deadbeat dads on the other hand ...

** my apologies for this angry sounding post. i'm not even in a bad mood, i swear!