Monday, May 18, 2009

cutthroat

i have neglected you my little blog. i apologize.

so, we're coming up to our last concert of the year for our choir. we just got new music for a song last week.

i've decided that i want the solo in it. i didn't think, 'well, maybe, if i'm feeling ballsy, i'll audition ...'

no.

i thought, 'this solo is mine yo. (apparently determination passes through a gangsta filter in my head ... ) back off all you other wannabes ... i want this flipping solo and i will have it. end of discussion.'

this was a little unsettling for me. i'm not really that brave or openly competitive. i'm not sure where this possessiveness has come from. but i kinda like it.

usually, just thinking of auditioning causes waves of nausea and a clammy aura. but even now, i'm just kind of excited. a little knot in the stomach, yes. but mostly, really looking forward to it. i don't even really hope i get it. i just want it.

what's wrong with me?? i'm losing my marbles i think.

well, we'll see what comes of it all i guess.

p.s. if i get it, i expect to see y'all there! no punk-ing out!