Tuesday, July 26, 2011

So Little

I have so little to say.

I mean, that's not true. If you've ever met me, you KNOW that's not true. I could talk to you for hours about nothing special.

But I feel like I'm all talked out. I have nothing more to say on the subject. I guess I could say that I feel helpless, out of control. Not in a good way, like things will just go as planned. But like, free falling, someone please show me which way is up kind of way.

There's so much I want to be different. So much change I long for.

And yet, when it really boils down to it, I resist change. Who am I kidding? I shove change away with two hands, feet if necessary. But why? It's all change for the better. Good change. Healthy change. Happy, desired, life improving change! Why am I so so resistant?

I used to openly hate change. I thought I learned to embrace it. Almost every change I've adopted in my life, willingly or not, has been for the exponentially better. So what the fricking heck is my problem?

I need to stop now. I'm just getting annoyed at me and that's not helping anything.

Good night, my much neglected blog.