Tuesday, June 24, 2008

pros and cons

i'm trying to make some big decisions right now. my friend wants me to move somewhere with her. she's pretty much up for moving anywhere, but we're talking about california. this is consuming my thoughts, my dreams, my every waking moment. i hate having to make big decisions ... okay, correction: i hate making any decision. "where do you want to eat?" "oh, i don't care. where ever you want is fine." in high school, i established a rule that whoever wasn't driving had to decide where we were going, since driving required enough concentration without adding that extra effort into it. *note: i was the first of all of my friends to have my license and a car so i was always driving. this rule worked REALLY well for me. i don't even like having to decide which movie we should rent or where we should get take-out from, so needless to say, trying to decide if i should up and move out of my apartment, sell a bunch of my stuff, quit my really great job and move somewhere i've never really been before in the hopes of finding a job and an apartment and possibly going to school ... this is petrifying.

i've begun a pros and cons list. so far, it is as follows:

some things cancel each other out and are crossed out to illustrate.

- expensive
- far from home
- scary
- can't take car
- miss various family events; birthdays, camping trips, etc.
- have to leave my job
- leave my apartment
- leave bff's
- give up thursday nights
- give up PartyLite
- give up working at church
- miss kids at church
- miss Jessica and her kids
- have to find a new job
- meet new people
- miss church services

- something i've never done before
- meet new people
- may never have the chance to do something like this again
- there will be other camping trips and birthdays
- live somewhere new
- put myself in a position where school is an option
- i don't really love my apartment anyway
- can stay connected to bff's and Jessica and kids through myspace(although it's not the same)
- can stay connected to family, friends through phone, blog, etc.
- what is are you really gaining from thursday nights anyway?
- PartyLite will still be around whenever you come back, and it's also available down there
- can probably come back to job at church if necessary, been doing it for 6 years, time for change
- no car insurance
- if in school, no student loan payments

this is what i have so far. i'm sure i'll update with more later.

crap. i just counted and i have 8 pros and 8 cons.

:[ i hate making decisions.

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