Wednesday, January 7, 2009

inevitable movement

my friend was telling me the other day about a time when she was younger and she was faced with a choice. she could participate in a program that would educate her, make her healthier and altogether be very beneficial to her future. the program would take one year to complete. she wasn't sure what she should do, a year seemed like a long time to spend doing something and she didn't know if she wanted to waste the time. she said her dad told her, "this time next year is going to come whether you do this or not."

i guess that's a totally simple sentiment. but i never really thought of that before. i've considered at different times, "man, if i would have just done this in the first place, i could be done by now." but i'd never really thought about it like, i can do this or i can not. but regardless, the time it will take will go by.

so i'm thinking that maybe school is something i just need to buckle down and do. because regardless of the fact that the program will take two years to complete, two years is going to pass. in two years, i'll be two years older. whether i'm two years older and still strumming along, doing what i've always done, or if i take a chance and try to make something more of myself, i'll still be two years older.

yesterday i was talking to another friend and going over all of this out loud - that helps me a lot - and i realized, i have nothing to show for myself. i've lived all this time and i have nothing significant to show for it. she's a little over six years older than me so she doesn't like it when i lament about aging. but i told her, she has a family, a home, a life. she has something to show for her age. in two years, i won't be too far from how old she is now and what? will i have nothing to show for it? i don't have a family, i don't have a house, i don't have a good car ... i don't even have a pet! am i really going to muddle along for two more years, just doing the same things i'm doing now and end up with nothing to show for myself? or should i just jump in and do something?

i'm beginning to feel a lot stronger about the second option.


PinkFlaminga said...

You are definatley stronger than you make yourself out to be. You are NOT the typle of girl who would be one to sit around saying.... oh, i'm unhappy, this sucks, oh wel. That's sooo not the Lindsay I've known since forever. You'll do anything you jump up and set out to do.

a girl in the life said...

thank you. you're a truer friend than i deserve. thanks for all of your support and kindness.

love you!