Tuesday, January 6, 2009

is there ever NOT a crossroads?

i think i want to go back to school. there's a school i really want to go to but there are a couple of obstacles.

first, it's in downtown portland and that's quite a commute, especially for my poor Squanto.

second, the night course option is from 5-10, monday through thursday. i have an indefinite tuesday night commitment already in mcminnville at 7.

also, the night option stretches the overall length of schooling to a little over 2 years. not that bad i suppose, but it just feels like a long time.

the day course option is from 9-5, tuesday through saturday for a little over a year. but i have a full time job that is a normal work week, monday through friday, 8-4.

so i don't know what i should do. do i sign up for the night courses, take a chance and say a prayer that my car can handle it, give up my tuesday night commitment for two years and get done? do i quit my job and get one in the evenings or at night that would be better suited for the day classes and finish school in a year? and if i do that, where do i take the schooling from there? as much as i really want to do this for a career, the way i want to use it would require relocating. i suppose i'm not as vehemently opposed to that as i once was. but then what?

i think the time has come to make some decisions and do something. it's easy to write about it, think about it, talk about it. it's much harder to put thoughts into action and make something happen. i don't want my life to be one of regret. but change is so friggin scary!

arg. this hasn't helped much. i think i feel more anxious now, putting that down into words, than i did before. that's not a good sign.

i over think everything.

understatement of the year.

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